결론부터 말하면 한 열댓번 된다.
난 말이다. '용기'라고 하는 것이 실은 아주 간단하게 설명가능하다고 생각한다. 여러가지가
있겠지만, 고개를 기꺼이 숙여 보이는 것도 용기라고 생각한다.
사람에 따라선 고개 잘 숙이는 사람을 두고 '비굴하다' 말 할수도 있는데, 생각해보면 그같은 비난마저 감수한다는 것 또한 용기라면 용기라
하겠다.
특히나 새해 첫날이라면 말이다. 첫 아침부터 타인에 허리 숙이는 것이 나는 쉽지 않은데. 그는 아침부터 당 모임, 첫 해
맞이, 현충원 참배로 이어지는 릴레이 행보를 가졌다. 그건 하나같이 자신을 낮춰 보여야 하는 코스였다.
먼저 그는 마주치는 여러 시민들에게 고개를 숙여보였다. "새해 복 많이 받으세요"라고. '제가 누구입니다'라는 설명은 스케줄 문제로 완전
생략한 하루다. 내가 본 바 이것만 열두어번. 남산 타워를 오르내리며 그랬고 현충원에서 그랬다.
그거야 인사인데 뭐 어떻냐 할지
모르겠다. 그럼 이제부터 다소 무거운 순간이 나간다.
단배식에선 정세균 의장과 만날 때 고개를 숙였다. 이것도 의장에 대한 예우라면 특이할 건 아니라 하겠다.
그런데 그가 꽤 오랜시간
연설에 나서자, 그때부턴 정말로 수분 내내 고개를 들지 못하는 것이었다.
작년의 무거웠던 일들이 파노라마처럼 당사를 휩쓰는 모양이다. 어제까지 다 털어내기엔 지난해 쌓인 것들이 너무도 많았다. 새해 단배식에서도
그렇게 무거운 침묵이 흐르는 것이었다.
현충원. 충혼탑에서 새해 참배를 올리는 이계안 전 의원. 나중에 말한 것이지만, 그는 본래 이 지역구 출신이라 현충원 참배에 있어선 그 어느 정치인보다 남일 같지 않게 여겨진다고 밝혔다.
그리고 이번엔 제 15대 대통령 김대중 전대통령의 묘소에서 추모의 향불을 피워올린다. 단배식에서의 길었던 순간에서 계속되는, 연장선상의 그것.
정세균 의장의 연설이 다시 떠오른다.
작년은 김대중, 노무현 두 대통령을 잃었던 한 해였다던. 그리고, 계속해 고개를 들지 못하던 이 전 의원도.
90도로 고개를
떨구는 그와 일행. 몇 개월 전만 해도, 설마 김대중 전 대통령을 올해 첫 날 여기서 참배할 거라곤 생각도 못 했겠지.
그냥 지나칠 뻔 했다.
김 전대통령 방명록에서 그는
'사랑합니다'라고 한 줄을 적어 올린다. 다른 참배객들이 '존경합니다'를 쓰는 것과는 또 다른 느낌이다. 작성자 명부를 미처 보지
못했다면 "어느 소녀가 촉촉한 눈망울로 적었나"하고 지나칠 법한 한 줄이다.
언젠가 보좌진에서 그런 말이 나온 적 있다. 내
글에서 그의 감성적 측면이 나올 때면 '손발이 오그라들어서 사지를 다시 펴는데 엄청 고생했다'고. 아마 지금도 이 순간 "아니야 내가 알던
의원님은 이렇지 않아"라고 외칠 것 같은데. 헌데 내가 한달간 같이 동행해 보니까 은근히 이런 글을 거침없이 적어 남기는 스타일이다. 이를
어쩌나. 또 절규할 것만 같은데.
수없이 허리를 굽히고,
사랑한다는 고백을 서거한 대통령의 제단 위에 올려놓고.
실상은 보좌관부터 '우리 의원님은 이렇지 않아'라고 증언하던 어느 정치인의 새해 첫
발자취였다.
댓글 '12'
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